Recently I brought up a conversation to a dear friend of mine on my blog. We discussed on how my initial purpose was to share my story and shed light on a situation that many women endure, some coming out of it and sadly some not. In our conversation I mentioned I was over the blog, I didn’t care to talk about the past and the harm I once went through. Writing about it would only bring back nightmares and moments of depression. I wasn’t actually healing, I was dwelling. I was dwelling on “how did this happen” “why me” “what did I do wrong”. But that’s exactly where we all unfortunately lead our minds to when something didn’t work out. Yes, you’re going to say what I went through is traumatic and it’s normal that I had these kind of thoughts. It is not okay however, to continue to relive something that isn’t present anymore. You have to learn to free yourself.
The day I came to terms with what happened to me, I spoke up on it, and on this day too, I finally enabled myself to really feel the emotions deeply and begin the process of healing. The waves of emotions hit so heavily I didn’t know how to get out of it, so I decided to step away from an even darker hole I could potentially drown myself in and took time away from writing publicly.
In the last couple of days, a spark came into me to write again, not to write about the dark moments, but instead to share how far I’ve grown from it. I once wrote that a thought was put to my mind on not wanting to be here anymore, and the way you’re reading it is exactly that, I once thought my life wasn’t worth living and I did not want to exist anymore.
My thoughts and mindset today have made a complete 360. I’ve learned to embrace the past for what it is and live more in the present. This change in me did not happen over night. I didn’t just wake up and say I’m happy. I simply got tired; sick and tired of letting anything get in the way of a happy life. I mean after all, we ourselves are the key to our own true happiness. I am still a work in progress and I strive to being the best version of myself everyday. My happiness is like my job; it takes self-talks, love, and plenty of care.
Not all days have to be perfect, we are human and we have feelings, but everyday is a new day and a chance to make things better for yourself. Something I will say is, life only gets better. I wake up each day feeling more and more blessed to be alive on Mother Earth. I will never lose unless I quit and I choose happiness, every single day.
Here’s a little something to remind yourself daily: we are who we let ourselves be and we create the energies we want to be surrounded by. Bad things don’t happen because you are a bad person, they happen because you attract them. You can’t expect to live a negatively minded life and it be beautiful painted for you. If something doesn’t seem right, listen to to your gut! Put YOURSELF FIRST and stop trying to make everyone else happy. Your decisions and actions are a complete reflection of yourself and it is entirely up to you to live your best life.
Empower yourself, be one with the universe ✨